This is the first year that the Nathanael Greene Society (NGS) is awarding Merits & Demerits to students, faculty, and whomever else upon we deign to bestow such an honor. The Merits are given for various Academic and Intellectual achievements, and the Demerits are given for acts of Academic and Intellectual acts of perfidy. We are proud to announce this year’s recipients, as they represent a hodgepodge of Achievements and Misachievements of a Grand degree.

Merits

Atena Asiaii
Peter George Catsimpiris
Michael Ennis
Judge Robert Flanders
Marc Aaron Frank
Gregory Mark Halenda
Daniel S. Harrop III, M.D.
Susan Ashbrook Harvey, Ph.D.
Joses Wei-Hao Ho
David Josephson, Ph.D.
Kristina Marie Kelleher
Jesse Cordell Maddox
Aartik A. Sarma
Rose Rosengard Sobutnik
Joshua Teitelbaum, Ph.D.
John O. Tomasi, Ph.D.
Gordon S. Wood, Ph.D.

Demerits

Yolanda Castillo-Appollonio
The order of Jimmy Carter
For being ineffective and prolific. How ironic.

Lincoln D. Chafee
The order of N. Chamberlain
We have no doubt that your labors will succeed in producing many pieces of paper.

Amelia Simone Irene Plant
The order of K. A. Eichmann
Millions dead, and, of course, you had nothing to do with it.

Dean Karen E. McLaurin-Chesson
The order of Nathan B. Forrest
For cracking the whip at the Third World Plantation. Don’t let them get out of line.

Evelyn Hu-deHart Ph.D.
The order of Nathan B. Forrest
For abuse of the intellect through cross-burning racial crusades. Congratulations on your tenure.

Ms/r. Robin Alexander Peckham
The order of L. Ron Hubbard
The application of Nihilism to sexuality and subornation of others to do likewise is not a political statement of Substance. Your pointless flamboyance serves neither to enlighten nor to liberate, but only to treat onanism as if it were socially constructive.

Amy Lynn Littlefield
The order of Ron Jeremy
Homely, prolific, and salacious… if only you had ten inches of sense.

Tyler Thomas Rosenbaum
The order of Lucifer
For intense Hubris and being intensely humorous.

Renata Zahra Sago
The order of Robert Mugabe
If it’s sensible… it must be “Western bookish,” and therefore wrong. Right?

Zachary Townsend
The Order of Grigori Rasputin
Driven by vain aspirations to rise, your soul is empty, we therefore surmise.